So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
