So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
