i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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