Screwed.edu
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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