I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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