I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
