My first STD was from a foam party
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
