it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My vagina is officially offended.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
