If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
