I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
