so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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