covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
