I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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