he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
