brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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