butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
