you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She's the barista slut.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
