I need help removing her.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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