I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
