doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
