You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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