u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
