I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
