Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
