Plan B is the new Plan A
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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