they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
