Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
