I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
