Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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