I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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