4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
