i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
