I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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