She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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