It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
