Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
