thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
im holly from the hills drunk
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
