While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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