My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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