Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Randomize
