you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
