wat bout pragnant strippers??
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
last night I used snow as a chaser
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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