My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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