need another drink. this is the easiest way
In the future we'll all be gay
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize