This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
