I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
