You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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