Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
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