does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
