Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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