david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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