well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
