I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
