Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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