Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Bring me that man meat
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
