the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
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