he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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