I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
