i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
