im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
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i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
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and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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